Trust in the Process, in My Vision

A couple months ago, I bought a styrofoam head (like for use as a hat stand). My thought was to cover the surface with Wonder Woman, images from comic books, découpaged on. I found a pedestal to put it on when it was finished. I bought the comics, back issues from Volume 2, with George Pérez as artist and writer. I can see in my head how I want it to look when it's finished, but I am honestly scared to get started.

Once I cut up the comic books, that's it. Once applied to the head, there's no undoing it. From that point on, it's me, my vision, and my ability to execute the plan. And I don't trust my own vision, my abilities.

Upon reflection, that's why a lot of my projects sit unfinished, or not even begun: Fear. Lack of trust. Lack of faith. In myself. If you don't start, you can't fail; if you never finish, you can't be wrong. And acknowledging that to myself just makes me mad.

I was "lucky" enough to work retail in the Chicago Loop -- shoplifters and robbers galore -- and I faced them all fearlessly. But ask me to have a little faith in myself, and I can't manage it. All the reassurance and compliments from family and friends cannot make me believe what I cannot see for myself.

Maybe it's time to reread Art & Fear. Maybe it's time to let Diana -- Wonder Woman -- to speak to me; maybe I need to listen harder.

Writing

It's been ages since I did any serious writing (not counting blogging, and that's often pretty sporadic). I wrote Creating an Heirloom and got it published, and now it's overdue for an update, and I can't get moving on that. Basically, I only have a single chapter that needs rewriting, but it's a pretty important chapter.

Various professional writers will tell you to treat your writing like a job because it is one. Treat it like a hobby, casually, and that's how you can expect to make money from it. Since I was in high school (before, really), writing was something I wanted to do. Over and over, I've let it take a back seat to other things in my life. I've treated it casually. Since I've been pretty cavalier with it, it's not treated me any better. Creativity is a muscle -- it atrophies when you don't use it. And while I have been creative in other outlets, I don't treat that any more seriously.

I finished a short story, about 2500 words (too long for micro or flash fiction, too short for what most people consider to be a "short story"), and now have to decide if I want to shop it around or go the epublishing route that so many authors are using. I'd really like to sell it, but anxiety can be pretty crippling. It's what keeps me from doing most things, actually. I hate it, that evil little voice in my head.

A friend made a suggestion about taking the completed short story, and turning it into a series of related vignettes. I kinda like the idea, I think it would make a nice "package" to publish, but after the (somewhat crazy) inspiration of the first, I'm not sure the others will come as easily. (Back to that creative muscle again...) I got an idea for another story, but the inspiration for it is taking me in the direction of a considerably longer work.

There are other things, too, of course -- there are always distractions. I have an art show this weekend, the first commercial art-related thing I've done since the gallery closed in December. (Shame on me...) I've had some health issues come up this summer. Meetings and appointments for my daughter. Stress. Depression. Frustration. It's been a rough year. You'd think that losing myself in fiction writing would be just the thing! And maybe once I get back after the weekend art show, I'll be able to do that. But today will be consumed with the mundane: dishes, laundry, packing for the weekend.

It's only quarter after 7. Maybe I can sneak some writing in before The Kid gets home from school...

Closet Redo: The Home Stretch

I'm a bad wife -- I put my husband to work on Father's Day. (I made it up to him with the dinner he requested.) Saturday we built the tower. It's made with sanded plywood, MDF and wood veneer tape. I ran into some slight issues when I trimmed the veneer tape. In cutting off the excess, I bit into the wood in a few places -- oops! So I sanded those places smooth, and I'm calling this "technique" unintentional antiquing. Instead of a new-looking piece of furniture, this one has dings on the edges, just like if it was an older piece! Woo! (Lemons to lemonade, people... besides, it's in the closet, not the front hall.) I stained it and let it dry overnight, and this morning we moved it upstairs.
 
I scrubbed the scuffed paint in the back of the closet with a Magic Eraser. He suggested I might want to repaint the walls in there since everything was out, but I wasn't keen on that. The Magic Eraser worked as advertized and the scuffs and smudges are gone, and I didn't have to paint (huzzah!).

Blank slate, before I cleaned the walls.

I removed the strip of baseboard so the tower fits more snugly into the space and flush to the wall. We got it in the closet, put up the cleat to support the shelf, and went to put up the closet rod... and discovered that I miscalculated. The rods I got are too long. *sigh* He had to cut them down so I can still use them, because I'd really rather have metal than wooden rods. Since I already miscalculated once, we got the first rod up, hung stuff on it, measured measured measure, then hung the second rod. Once this closet is finished, I can look at the other one, and see about redesigning it, as well.

Baseboard removed

The edge of plywood isn't pretty, but veneer tape fixes that! Looking just at the edges, there's no difference
between the the plywood and the MDF shelves, because it's all got the veneer on it.

 I am just stupid-excited about this. I am not a girlie-girl. I don't have a massive shoe and purse collection. But for some reason, this project is just firing up both those Xs, and making me want to Squeee! with girlie anticipation. Maybe it will inspire me to embrace style and femininity in a way I haven't before. (But I'm not holding my breath...)

For the organization part, I put my hat boxes to the top shelf, which is high enough for me to need a step stool to reach. Since I don't wear my hats that often, not a big deal. I had a couple of baskets already, just the right size, that I used for socks, which are now mostly in laundry baskets because my sock drawer is full. (I have tons of socks!) I bought clear plastic shoe boxes to keep what shoes I do have dust free.

Both baskets contain socks. The shelf above the basket is purses
and hair things. The very top shelf is mainly hats.

Shoes!

Years ago, I made the handiest thing ever for organizing my barrettes, but it's too long and the material has yellowed, so I made new ones.

Just a strip of corduroy with a large split ring at the top --
the texture of the material grips the barrettes and holds them in place!

I used robe hooks to hang the new barrette strips. They fit neatly there in an otherwise unusable space; that wall they're on is only about 8 inches wide.

There's one more space in this closet that I'm customizing...

I'm going to add shelves to that awkward space below the barrettes and the jewelry board. Those shelves will hold my Orphanware™ pieces, and organize more jewelry. The space will be stylishly designed to both hold and display the pieces, making them an attractive feature that's more than just utilitarian.

So there it is! My nearly-completed closet redo! I'm so pleased with how it turned out, and plan to put even more thought into the other closet, and measure more meticulously. This was an excellent learning exercise.

UPDATE: Here's the rest of what I did with the closet.

    





















The shelves are supported by (and glued to) small cleats nailed to the drywall. Each shelf is a little narrower at the pointed end, so that the shelves sort of "fan out" as they go down the wall. I did this because I wanted the bottom shelves to be a little more visible and not be completely obscured by the shelves above. They're white so the focus is on the Orphanware™ and jewelry, not the shelves. It's a dark corner, having shelves anything but white would have been really dark and distracting. Penelope was my able assistant while I worked on this. I am insanely pleased with how it all turned out.

Really long comments on someone else's blog post...

This started out being comments on Comic Book Grrl's blog post "When it comes to art, is it possible to cheat?" But a) her post was way back in April, and b) I didn't want to hijack her blog with a really long comment (that may or may not ramble a bit).

As a writer, photographer and artist, married to an intellectual property attorney, I have pretty strong opinions on "cheating" in art. Whether you're working in visual media or written word, you've been influenced by others. Some other writer/photographer/etc. has appealed to you, made a difference to you, and even if you don't copy their work directly, their influence has stamped something on your own creativity.

But is there intent? Is the the person intending to pass off someone else's work as their? Are they consciously defrauding their audience? This doesn't take into account the thousands of people who ripped something off the internet, changed it slightly, believing the incorrect idea that if they change a 10% of a work it becomes theirs. That's not fair use, that's copyright infringement, period. A romance author, Cassie Edwards, was called out not too long ago for having ripped off someone's research in her novels (as well as other plagiarized sources). She claimed that she didn't know she was supposed to cite sources. I call bullshit on that. And even if she didn't know (yeah, right...), ignorance of the law is no excuse. When you take an entire paragraph from someone else and slap it into your book (or paper, you Wikipedia-plagiarizing delinquents), you're stealing. When you take someone's photograph, trace it, and pass off the new art as your own, you're stealing. (For instance, Fairey's iconic Obama "Hope" poster was lifted from an AP photo.)

Plato wrote things claiming they were Socrates' words. He may have been trying to legitimize his own ideas claiming they were his teacher's, since Socrates already had standing in the ancient World of Nerds. Similarly, writers who put Shakespeare's name on their plays might have been capitalizing on an established playwright's success. So are the suspected works plagiarized by the Bard, were other writers "borrowing" his name, or were they "ghostwritten"? Difficult to prove and know for certain, since all the actors in that particular play are long dead.

We are all influenced by the world around us, those of us who are artists (in whatever medium) probably more so because we're imaginative and we pay attention. There can be a pretty fine line between inspiration and theft, and intent doesn't even have to play a role. (Intent comes in at the "damages" part of the lawsuit, I believe, and can be hard to prove especially when you're dealing with someone who's already been dishonest about "their" work.) But here's some crazy thoughts: don't steal! don't pass off work someone else did as your own! if you're inspired by someone, claim it! For example:

"Clawing the Sky" ©2007 Wendy A. B. Whipple,
inspired by the works of Ansel Adams

There is some resemblance to "Dead Tree" by Adams, taken 60 years before I shot my own dead tree. However, I had not seen the Adams photograph at the time I took mine. Can I prove that I didn't see it before? No, you can't prove a negative (a little bit of a non sequitur, but it's funny). However, the works of Ansel Adams are in inspiration for me. I'm reasonably sure his estate is going to show up with their lawyers and beat me with sticks. Reasonably.

So to answer Comic Book Grrl's question "is it possible to 'cheat' [in art]"? Absolutely! It's cheating whenever you borrow someone else's creativity and claim it as your own. And using "inspired by" or "derivative" or "parody" is not always going to CYA (see this article about derivative works).

Go forth and exercise your own voice, express your own creativity, share your vision with the world. If you're inspired by those who have come before, recognize them in your artist's statement, in the acknowledgements in your book, in your official bio/liner notes/website. But don't cheat, don't steal -- you'd be mighty pissed if someone did it to you.

The Creative Process

Got to working on my altered book, and needed space to spread out the materials. I pulled out the card table and gathered some of my stuff... 

It didn't start out quite this disorderly, honestly. All I can say is, the creative process isn't neat. :D What's a little alarming is that this isn't everything -- I have more stuff in a box by my desk.

I Resolve...

Don't you just hate new year's resolutions? They're broken within weeks (if not days) of January 1st, and often they are so unreasonable in their goal that they can't be kept by a sane person. That being said, I'm going to try a resolution or two, to give me a creative boost. 

I RESOLVE

...to take at least one photograph everyday. Something in the house, outside, a portrait of my daughter or the dog, some new angle of an old thing. But SOMEthing, to play with the camera, get more comfortable with the settings, and learn to make them work for me.

I RESOLVE

...to create a piece of art (whatever that may become) for every day in April, with a focus on autism and/or my daughter (who is autistic). April is Autism Awareness Month; I meant to do something last year, but it never materialized.

I RESOLVE

...to finish keywording my photos in Lightroom, and learning to use that program effectively.

I RESOLVE

...to feed my soul with creative endeavors (instead of junk food).

What resolutions are you considering for 2009, year of the Ox (i.e.: prosperity through hard work)?

Weaning off LiveJournal for something more substantial

Currently, I occasionally post to LiveJournal. I got started there to keep in touch with friends who live far away. However, they're not very good at updating their blogs, either. I want to maintain a photo blog, but not exclusively photos. I have a number of creative endeavors I pursue, and photography is only one; hence the name "Creative Miscellany." 

Here's just one of the things I've spied through the lens of my camera:

This photo is available as a print at DeviantArt, and for licensing at PhotoShelter.

Other things I'll include from time to time are scans of some of the ATCs* I've made, or an altered book project I work on off-and-on. One of the swaps I've recently mailed my cards into is a Gypsy Mixed Media swap. I used a mesh ribbon and gold-embossed chipboard pieces on top of altered photos. I am particularly pleased with the way these turned out. Had a hard time parting with them!

My altered book is inspired by one of my other passions, belly dance. I've been taking classes and attending workshops for more than 5 years now. I'm not very far into this project, but here's one of my favorite page spreads so far: 

So that's the sort of thing I'll be up to here. I'll keep my LJ blog for ranting and keeping up with my far-flung friends. I'll limit this, though, for my creative pursuits.

*ATCs = Artist Trading Cards, 3.5" x 2.5" tradable works of art. I trade at ATCsForAll.com.