That Time of Year Again...

End of the year, time to reflect and plan on the coming year, right? (Not to mention look back at everything you didn't get done in the current year.) I don't do resolutions. I never keep them. All I can do is try to get concrete things accomplished, and promise not to beat myself up too badly when I don't manage it.

So far, I'm making a preemptive strike on organizing my daughter's room. She has collections that need a little curating, and a whole lot of clothing that needs someplace to go. I think I have come up with a way to reorganize her closet and make better use of the space. Today has been all about laundry, weeding out things that don't fit and getting gifts washed and folded. Tonight maybe I'll go get the shelves I want to put in her closet, and then I can work on getting her better organized.

The basement is a huge mess. I managed to undo so much of the work I did last year, that I will practically be starting all over again. I really want to get that done this year, so I can get that wall painted.

And speaking of painting... I still have to finish stripping and sanding a bookcase I plan to use for cookbooks. (They're currently on a baker's rack that is starting to show a little stress from the weight.) I want to paint it to look like the pattern on my grandmother's recipe box. I want to paint the kitchen cabinets too, but that's going to be an enormous job, and I don't know when that will happen. I'm making new everyday kitchen curtains, but that will only take me a day, max. (Huzzah for quick projects!)

There's dozens of little projects, but if I can get those three big things done (her room, the bookcase, and the basement) then I think my life will be greatly improved for the other things.

Broken Promises

Resolutions are a way for humans to punish themselves for being human.

No, really! You make grand plans for a new year -- losing weight, quitting smoking, finishing a project... Then when life happens and you can't/won't/don't follow through, you punish yourself and heap guilt on your head and label yourself a failure, or weak, or whatever. Bah!

This year, I am making no promises to myself. I hope to help my daughter become more self-sufficient. I hope to finish the basement, and get that wall painted finally. I hope to make it up to Ontario this year, and see my friends, whom I miss terribly. (OK, that's not really along the same lines as a resolution, but still...)

I mostly quit smoking last year, back in March, though I lapsed in December with the xmas stress making me crazy. They tasted so awful... I think this time I can make it stick. I need to pay more attention to my health, and work on making myself healthier. That includes losing some weight, and that particular hope/goal scares me most of all. I have a love/hate relationship with food and how it relates to my body. Unfortunately, I no longer have the luxury of youth to let me slide through poor decision-making. Added to the physical need to lose weight, my mental health is also suffering, and that may be a more critical reason.

This year has the potential of being a triumphant return to health and happiness, or an abysmal failure that will cost me a great deal. All I really want from 2013 it to survive it.

Wearable Audacity

Once upon a time, as a teenager shopping with my mom on a summer vacation trip in Mississippi, we happened upon a boutique that had a denim skirt and jacket. The pieces were sold separately, but were meant to be worn together. Both were elaborately embellished. Both were outrageous and funky. Both were fabulously expensive. I wanted them desperately, but even a self-centered teen is capable of understanding ZOMG-that's-expensive! Mom apologized, said she'd get it for me if she could, but it was just too expensive. And it was - the pieces were really the first time I remember seeing something that could be labelled "wearable art." They were not overpriced, just beyond what the budget could bear. She told me that we could make it ourselves - maybe not the same thing, but we could alter a jacket and skirt and make something similar. We gathered a few supplies, but quickly realized that just buying the embellishments added up fast. The project never made it off the ground.

Fast forward about 26 years. I'm coming into my own as an artist. I'm learning to sew and am good at reverse engineering. I have developed an adventurous spirit when it comes to trying something new. I can barely recall what that original skirt and jacket looked like - it's been more than half my life since I saw it! And I know now that the skirt wouldn't suit me now, and it would fit anyway. And as a teen, wearing it would have gotten more ridicule than admiration. Now, I simply don't give a damn what people think! (Back then I had chutzpah in the traditional sense: insolence, arrogance and audacity* - I brazened my way out of high school trying to survive. Now, it's more disdain.)

I know when I'm wearing something that suits me because I'm comfortable. I know when I look awkward, when something isn't "me" - my challenge for the new year will be to find the right jacket, the right jeans to alter into a skirt, and recreate that wearable art set that has percolated in the back of my head, O these many years. I have another jacket project I want to get back to, as well. And some purses I want to play with. Will I find what I want? Create the nebulous vision? WHO KNOWS! It's a whole new year and anything could happen.

Update: I also want to do a pair of Converse Chuck Taylors to go with them. I really need to start some design sketches....

* I've always loved the word audacity. Most people regard it as a pejorative. Not me. "Boldness or daring, especially with confident or arrogant disregard for personal safety, conventional thought, or other restrictions." I am arrogant. It's not one of my nicer qualities, but it's there. I am an audacious person. Maybe it's time to stop trying to be something I'm not, and embrace the core of who I am. Look out, world, this is your only warning!

Hawaiian Quilt... Wallhanging...Something...

Because Mom insists I never showed her these fabrics (1/3 yard each, I measured), here they are:

I also purchased the below material, with enough to make myself, husband and daughter all something matching. (Yes, I know, too cute for words... whatever.)

Update on the resolution thing: I have taken at least one photo a day... except yesterday (6th). I left the house for lunch and for a dental appointment, and there was nothing that I saw photo-worthy out, or in the house that I haven't already photographed. (sigh) Bad me. But I made up for it today. When I get them sorted through, I'll choose the best Daily and post them (backdating the posts).

I've made significant headway in keywording, at least superficially. There's still work to do, but it's nothing like what I had been avoiding facing... plus, now that I know how to catalog in Lightroom without duplication, I have lots more room on my harddrive.

I Resolve...

Don't you just hate new year's resolutions? They're broken within weeks (if not days) of January 1st, and often they are so unreasonable in their goal that they can't be kept by a sane person. That being said, I'm going to try a resolution or two, to give me a creative boost. 

I RESOLVE

...to take at least one photograph everyday. Something in the house, outside, a portrait of my daughter or the dog, some new angle of an old thing. But SOMEthing, to play with the camera, get more comfortable with the settings, and learn to make them work for me.

I RESOLVE

...to create a piece of art (whatever that may become) for every day in April, with a focus on autism and/or my daughter (who is autistic). April is Autism Awareness Month; I meant to do something last year, but it never materialized.

I RESOLVE

...to finish keywording my photos in Lightroom, and learning to use that program effectively.

I RESOLVE

...to feed my soul with creative endeavors (instead of junk food).

What resolutions are you considering for 2009, year of the Ox (i.e.: prosperity through hard work)?