Thursday, October 30, 2008

Altered Book

Whilst clearing out the things that ended up in front of the fireplace (so I could clean it out and replace the too-small grate), I unearthed my belly dance altered book. I knew where it was, I just hadn't bothered to dig it out, because I hadn't felt particularly creative lately - too busy feeling like a slug, I guess. Anyway, I do want to get back to that. I was so pleased with the way things were going, and then *SPLAT!* I hit a brick wall. I want to do so much with it, it's hard to overcome all that inertia.

It may end up veering in a direction I had not intended, in to Body Image territory. Like many women, I've struggled with self-esteem as related to physical appearance. It's hard to look in the mirror to see if you're doing it right when you can't bear to look at yourself! Added to that, some moves are obscured by  fat, and you can't see what the muscle is doing. I'm trying to get started on a healthier lifestyle, and that will play into dance, which may well end up in the book. Fortunately, it's a fairly large book, and I have room for that...

I didn't really mean for the project to be art-as-autobiography. I meant all along to include the few pages I wrote when I started taking Magda's classes, but I never meant for it to be just about my experience with dancing. Sometimes when I'm writing, characters take on a life of their own, and go in directions I hadn't anticipated. I can't decide if that's magical or frustrating because I've lost control of my own creation. *shrug* It's not a question I intend to answer today. Instead, I think I'll try to go vote early and beat the crowds.

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