Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Broken Promises

Resolutions are a way for humans to punish themselves for being human.

No, really! You make grand plans for a new year -- losing weight, quitting smoking, finishing a project... Then when life happens and you can't/won't/don't follow through, you punish yourself and heap guilt on your head and label yourself a failure, or weak, or whatever. Bah!

This year, I am making no promises to myself. I hope to help my daughter become more self-sufficient. I hope to finish the basement, and get that wall painted finally. I hope to make it up to Ontario this year, and see my friends, whom I miss terribly. (OK, that's not really along the same lines as a resolution, but still...)

I mostly quit smoking last year, back in March, though I lapsed in December with the xmas stress making me crazy. They tasted so awful... I think this time I can make it stick. I need to pay more attention to my health, and work on making myself healthier. That includes losing some weight, and that particular hope/goal scares me most of all. I have a love/hate relationship with food and how it relates to my body. Unfortunately, I no longer have the luxury of youth to let me slide through poor decision-making. Added to the physical need to lose weight, my mental health is also suffering, and that may be a more critical reason.

This year has the potential of being a triumphant return to health and happiness, or an abysmal failure that will cost me a great deal. All I really want from 2013 it to survive it.

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